The Sort-of-Humor Contest

The Paper Boater ran a limerick/humor contest. Other than the one entry about "the meticulous shipwright who demanded his pay-per-boat", by far the most popular art form was the familiar limerick. (Says something about the class of reader, I suppose). The best of the lot follows.


 A hippy canoeist who tripped,
 (With paper boats always equipped,)
 Said that he was just fishin'
 But gave ground for suspicion,
 For he always came home again ripped.
	--- Larry Westlake

 The paternal Elisha Waters,
 Begat two sons, but  no daughters.
 And the boats they perfected
 To this day are respected
 So ideas live on...... but few are odder.
	--- Larry Westlake

(The following needs a brief explanation. Larry Westlake had an uncle Victor who commercially built paper/cedar boats Pacific NW shortly after WWII, sold under the trade name of Litekraft.)

 In the Litekraft plant my uncle Victor
 Built boats pretty and prim as a picture,
 And although the boats lasted,
 Their bright hopes were blasted,
 By fiberglass and polyester.
	    ---- Larry Westlake

 A daring young man from Toronto,
 Had a wonderful plan he was on to.
 He'd a boat make of paper,
 'Round the world he would take her!
 Sad to say he was home again, - pronto.
	   -- L. Westlake

 A Frenchman with wits like a rapier,
 Built a boat that was made out of papier.
 When sealed up with glue, 
 (and Arabol too,)
 He cried "It floats! Oh I couldn't be happier."
				 -- S. Pattison

 There was a boatbuilder in paper,
 With wits not as sharp as a rapier.
 His creation, when launched,
 Had some leaks to be staunched,
 So he shrugged... and duct taped her.
				-- L. Westlake

 A smuggler, named Elvira Wise,
 Paddled paper boats for her disguise.
 For the police would not nab her,
 In a plain, brown paper wrapper,
 (A shield 'gainst inquisitive eyes.)
			-- Name withheld at request of author

 There was a young lady from Hall,
 Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
 It caught her on fire,
 And burned her entire,
 Front page, sports section, and all.
			-- Author unknown (and it's not really about boats, but so what?)

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© Ken Cupery 2011